Real Happiness Is Back!

After two-and-a-half years, a career change, and a master's degree, Real-Happiness is back! The time has come (again) to share ideas, research findings, and theories about living happier in spite of consumer culture.

One thing that is somewhat different from the earlier blog is that the bent will be more "green". Much has changed in the world over the past three years. One of the most profound changes is how our culture is finally starting to recognize the real benefits of living more simply and sustainably.

I'm also expecting that the "new" Real-Happiness blog will be more fun and uplifting. Please share and enjoy!

Today's Ramble - 2/19/07

I think there is a link between the realization that our consumer culture is making us sick and the sustainability movement. Our relentless pursuit of prosperity has changed the world from one of scarcity to one of excess. We are genetically wired to compete for resources in a world of scarcity. Yet when our comfort is all but guaranteed by the civilization of excess in which we live, our natural instincts work against us. The discomfort we feel with our lives of excess encourages us to seek answers. As we learn that our actions not only lead to discomfort but to the devastation of the Earth, we strive to live in ways that are sustainable. The argument that we are hopelessly destined to destroy the Earth through our instinctual actions is losing ground. Could it be that the system of life on Earth, of which we are a part, is "telling" us that it is time for us to behave differently? We have "progressed" too far. It is time for respite, renewal and rebirth.

Today's Ramble - 2/12/07

Food for thought. It came as somewhat of a surprise to me that humanity has known that money will not buy happiness for thousands of years (straightforwardly expressed by writings of the ancients). Yet, our species (particularly Americans) continues to believe that it is so. How have we not been able to recognize and absorb this proven fact? Will we ever?

Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert suggests that the reason may be in what he calls the super-replification of beliefs. It is not necessarily the truth of the belief that it important for our species to perpetuate. What is important is that the belief, and the activities associated with it, is a "communication" channel for something that is truly important to our survival. In other words, the social interaction and "progress" (i.e. efficiency) that result from the false-belief that money will buy happiness is what is important. Humans are innately wired to compete, produce, and consume. Our beliefs drive our actions.

The question is then, is it possible for our species to not destroy the Earth? Maybe the planet's destruction is hard-wired into our genetic code. Of course, this intellectual expose is off the subject of happiness somewhat. Yet happiness is a big emotional driver for humans. Our search for happiness, combined with our false-belief that money will buy it, leads us headlong into oblivion. I think we can escape it. Do you?

Today's Ramble - 2/5/07

Today's Ramble comes from Dr. Peter Whybrow, the author of American Mania: When More Is Not Enough. "In achieving material success, we have dramatically changed the social circumstances under which millions of Americans live and work until many, now pushed close to the limits of their physical and mental tolerance, are beginning to lose faith in the time-hallowed narrative of the American Dream - that if you compete, work hard, and pay your taxes, then one day you will be rich and happy. Something is not right. We seem to have lost touch with the purpose of our quest. Increasingly, when the behavioral outcomes of our manic pursuit are measured, it is not happiness that we find but the disturbing trends of rising anxiety, obesity, and greed. In the face of the growing sickness it is time to pause and to reflect."

Today's Ramble - 2/2/07

Adam Smith, the "father" of free market economics, stated the following :

"In what constitutes the real happiness of human life, the poor are in no respect inferior to those who would seem so much above them. In ease of body and peace of mind, all the different ranks of life are nearly upon a level, and the beggar, who suns himself by the side of the highway, possesses that security which kings are fighting for."

It's ironic, but Adam Smith understood that wealth does not preceed happiness. Even though he was a proponent of progress through free market capitalism, he understood that it was not necessarily a pathway to happiness. Perhaps what he did not understand was how humans would be convinced that their happiness was dependent upon their level of wealth.

Today's Ramble - 1/29/07

One of the things by which I am the most fascinated is how people spend their money. I prefer the term "invest" over "spend". But, regardless, how people invest their money tells a lot about them, and a lot about society in general. I read this weekend in the Oregonian about a couple who had written in to a columnist looking for advice on the best way to reduce their credit card debt. These folks had a combined household income of between $190,000 and $250,000 (depending on the year) and $68,000 in credit card debt. They wrote that they were not able to contribute to a retirement account or save money for college because of the credit card debt cost. The only thing more mind-boggling than this question coming from people with this kind of income is the non-chalance with which the columnist answered the question. It is as if this is an ordinary situation. If it is, can someone please direct me back to Kansas? What in the world do these people invest all of this money in?

My guess is that they are focused on pleasure and status (oh, and a lot of shopping). Yet, the question was not "how can we get better control of our spending?" It was, "should I sell my company stock to pay off our credit card debt?". Obviously, I am only guessing about the financial choices that these folks have made. It could be that they have had exhorbitant medical expenses to cover. The point is, this apparently absurd situation is treated as nothing unusual. I don't know about you, but that tells me that our society's ability to save and control spending is past. We are in for some tough times ahead my friends.

Today's Ramble - 1/25/07

I apologize to my many readers for the delay in posting to the blog. Today's entry has to do with the falsehood of the pursuit of self-realization. We have heard for the past thirty years, at least, that that is our utmost purpose in life - a self-realized person is a happy person. The search for meaning in our lives is important. But it turns out that the relentless pursuit of self-realization (the "me" generation) has resulted ironically in many individuals with low self-esteem and a sense of being "lost".

Happiness research has shown why this may be so. People need to feel that they exist for something larger than themselves. They need to focus and work on something that provides a common good. Happiness comes from within and without. The two are not in contradiction. It is not one or the other, it is both. Richard Layard boils it all down to a compassion towards oneself and others. What he calls the "Greatest Happiness" is essentially the expression of that ideal. We need each other, not things. Through our relations with others we will attain a higher sense of well-being for ourselves.

Today's Ramble - 1/15/07

Richard Layard, in his excellent book "Happiness: Lessons from a New Science", argues that loss-aversion is an inconvenient fact of human nature. Studies show that, on average, if someone loses $100, his mood worsens twice as much as it would if he gained $100. Studies have also shown happiness falls relatively little (i.e. 2 points) when family income drops by a third. By comparison, a separation results in an 8 point fall. Lay-off or firing results in a 6 point fall. Subjective health down 20% equals a 6 point drop. So, think about spending more time building relationships or getting healthy. The positive impact will be greater than working those extra hours in order to secure a pay increase. If a one-third drop of income is worth 2 points, then a one-third increase is worth 1 point. If a 20% drop in health is worth 6 happiness points, a 20% improvement in health will increase your happiness score by 3 points. That's equal to a doubling of your income! Keep that in mind the next time you think about how you will "spend" your precious time.

Today's Ramble - 1/9/07

As promised, today's ramble has to do with "hope". The ancient Greeks considered hope to be an evil, but a necessary one. Without hope, there is despair. And that is worse. I tend to agree. The word "hope" is used quite loosely in today's language. Hope is indeed a very tricky and potentially insidious belief. Hope can be good. It can strengthen our regard for the goodness of mankind. It can also be bad, very bad. Hope built on desire and wishful thinking disempowers us. Hope without action eventually immobilizes us. Hope and positive thinking are NOT the same thing. Too much hope places our destiny in the hands of others. Positive thinking manifests itself into reality more often as others pick up on our positive energy. The behavior is rewarded. Hope is not rewarded. We must be strong to hope. Negative outcomes from hope should not be personalized. When they are, we defeat ourselves. We can become depressed and unwilling to act for fear that things just won't work out. Apply hope wisely. Know that it can be both noble and evil. Remember, only you choose to feel the way that you do. Don't let false hope get you down.

Today's Ramble - 1/8/07

The temporal component of happiness is a struggle for many of us. Eastern philosophy espouses an emphasis on the here and now - our immediate experiences brings us happiness. This is much easier said than done. Many look to the future for their happiness. This, as it turns out, is ineffective as we end up being way off base in terms of how future experiences will affect our happiness (see Daniel Gilbert link on this blog). Living in the past is equally "dangerous" to our well-being as sentimentality can limit the positive impacts that our current and future experiences have on us. Many of us find ourselves in a void - a place where we relive happy experiences of our past while, at the same time, wish that our futures will bring us the happiness that we crave. The void seems to travel with us through time - we never seem to get to where we want to be. Great thinkers have often written about this. Here are two of my favorites.

1) "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" - Dr. Suess. The power of this simple phrase is quite extraordinary. It speaks a simple truth about happiness. Yet, truly taking heed to what it says is very difficult indeed.

2) "The man is freed from servile hands of hope to rise or fear to fall, Lord of himself, though not of lands, and having nothing yet hath all" - Sir Henry Wotton. Life without hope is full of despair. Yet a life where hope drives our well-being is destined to be unhappy.

Next time, more on hope...

Today's Ramble - 1/5/07

First, a delayed Happy New Year to my readers out there...

One of the cornerstones of happiness is good health. Everyone knows that good health is the result of a combination of genetics, eating right, exercising, and maintaining a manageable level of stress. At the present time, we cannot do much about our genetic makeup, other than taking certain medications (e.g. cholesterol lowering drugs). The remaining three are well within our power. Unfortunately, our turbo-driven consumer society makes it difficult for us to properly manage these three critical components of good health.

1) Eating right - did you know that Dr. Dean Ornish's heart healthy regimen is based on the subsistence diet of the peasants of China, Brazil, and Egypt? It turns out that the food items that are the most expensive often times turn out to be worst for us. Simple, locally grown, food is likely your best bet. Also, recent studies on caloric intake in rats strongly suggest that moderate, low calorie diets are best for improving energy and lifespan. Under our "more is better" banner, this seems counterintuitive.

2) Exercise takes time. We generally spend too much time working, commuting, and shopping. We must carve out time for exercise. An alternative is to exercise while working, commuting, and shopping. How about speed shopping (running from store to store)?

3) Stress not only negatively impacts our health (heart disease, ulcers, etc.), but it directly impacts our sense of well-being. It is the happiness double-whammy. There are many tips available, such as deep breathing, that can help take the edge off of our stress. For many, however, stress is a chronic condition. In those cases, significant lifestyle changes are necessary. Don't be afraid to change. You may find that you are much happier (and stress free) after you do.

Today's Ramble - 12/28/06

Today's ramble is actually a link to an essay written several years ago by Michael Ventura. It was published in Psychology Today. Even though the ultimate premise is far-reaching, I think the essay is brilliant. It encapsulates many of the ideas that I am attempting to express in this blog. If nothing else, it builds a strong case for fundamental change in our society. Enjoy!
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1175/is_n2_v28/ai_16607911

Today's Ramble - 12/27/06

Today's ramble has to do with kids. An article in today's newspaper disturbed me. The thrust of the article was on post-Christmas shopping. It highlighted some teenagers who were completely hell-bent on purchasing as much as possible (on sale) with the money they received for Christmas. This "perspective" reminds me how far our society has come in terms of successfully marketing to children.

My somewhat cynical mind cannot help but predict a blossoming epidemic. The economy is about to enter into a period of recession, mostly fueled by reduced house values. This recession will hit just as today's materialistic teenagers are graduating from college. The mindset that many of these kids have predisposes them to the belief that their self-worth is directly linked to their ability to earn and spend money - to live the lifestyle that they envision for themselves based mostly on media images. A few will have some semblance of the lifestyle they are envisioning. Most will not. This is particularly true as downward pressures on wages become a reality. These young adults will feel like they have failed. They will need our help to see it through. We must help them to recognize that money never has, and never will, buy them happiness. Hopefully many will come to understand that real happiness is within their power regardless of financial means.

Today's Ramble - 12/26/06

The truly destitute are not those without money, but those without love in their lives. Happiness is a level playing field - we all have the ability to love and be loved regardless of our financial means.

The Holiday Ramble - 12/22/06

I had a conversation this morning with a non-Christian immigrant about Christmas. His perception is that what seems to be missing from the way most Americans practice Christmas is the spirit. He notices the consumption and commercialization first and foremost. Beyond that, he sees what he calls "glitter" or fluff. The holiday season is a good time to reflect on our history as a species, and where we are going. Let the practice of Christmas in America at the beginning of the 21st Century be your guide. Indeed, the sprit of Christmas is vanishing. In its place has arisen spending, obligation, and stress.

What's ironic about the Christmas season is that it is a time when people are allowed to practice those things that truly bring people happiness; love, sharing, togetherness, giving. For many, it has become a time of anger, stress, and depression. Much of it is related to our attempt to emulate a manufactured idealized Christmas experience. When our family room doesn't look like those in our favorite catalogs, we ask ourselves "why?". What is wrong with us that we can't have the kind of Christmas that we are supposed to have, that we are entitled to? Well, what we are entitled to is our Christmas. We choose the way we want to celebrate Christmas, and the emotions that result. It is within our power to give this season real meaning to ourselves and those whom we love.

Today's Ramble - 12/21/06

If you are feeling a lot of stress, you are not alone. As a reminder, stress can create significant levels of unhappiness - we want to avoid it as much as possible. A recent study (published yesterday by The Associated Press) shows that close to 75% of people in the U.S., Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, South Korea, and the United Kingdom say they experience stress on a daily basis. South Korea, with its turbo-charged, hightech, consumer-driven society ranked first at 81%. Mexico was lowest at 45%.

People in the U.S. cite financial pressures as the top worry (imagine that). Other factors attributed to causing stress are multiple jobs, long commutes (our most unhappy part of each day), and increasingly complex technology. Gershen Kaufman, professor emeritus of Michigan State University states that "the level of stress in fast-paced technological societies has been accelerating. There's an increased emphasis placed on wealth in this country (US). We're gradually exporting this around the world."

Today's Ramble - 12/20/06

Here is another entry for "a world gone mad". These statistics are hot off the press from the Census Bureau's "Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2007".

1) Of the 8,760 total hours in a year, the average American sprends 3,518 hours directly in contact with some form of media. That's five months out of twelve! Americans spend 65 days (1,560 hours) watching TV, 41 days listening to the radio, and 7 days each surfing the net, reading the newspaper, and listening to music. These days are measured as 24 hours each. That means, the average American spends the equivalent of 195 eight-hour periods watching TV each year. That is the equivalent of 75% of the amount of time the average American spends working. It's no wonder that most people just work, sleep, watch TV, and shop.

2) While nearly four in five of the 1970 college freshmen cited "developing a meaningful philosophy of life" as an important objective of attending college, three out of four in 2005 said their primary objective was "being very well off financially". What happens to these 75% of freshmen when this turns out not to be the reality for them? A few will realize this "dream", but most will not. How will they feel about their lives then?

3) Americans own 2.1 billion pairs of shoes. That's seven pairs of shoes for every man, women, and child in this country.

Today's Ramble - 12/19/06

Today, I will quote Warren Buffet. If my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Buffet is the second richest man in the U.S. Perhaps besides Bill Gates, he is the ultimate "Jones". Keeping up with him financially? Forget about it! Now that he is well into his 70s, here is what he says about success.

"If people get to my age and they have the people love them that they want to have love them, they're successful. It doesn't make any difference if they've got a thousand dollars in the bank or a billion dollars in the bank... Success is really doing what you love and doing it well. It's as simple as that. I've never met anyone doing that who doesn't feel like a success. And I've met plenty of people who have not achieved that and whose lives are miserable."

Today's Ramble - 12/14/06

Today's ramble has to do with time. Time is the one thing that treats everyone EXACTLY the same - it is the ultimate democrat. We all have exactly 24 hours a day to live. Of course, we have varying lifespans. So, the total time we have can vary from person to person. We will save that discussion for another time...

The point today is that we do not spend time. Instead, we are spending our life. How we choose to spend our life is up to us. Time is basically irrelevant. When we say we do not have the time, that is really not true. We all have the same amount of time. When we say that we do not have enough time, what we are really saying is that we are choosing to spend our time in ways that create stress in our lives. Today's fast-paced, consumer-driven society makes us feel as if we do not have the time to do everything that we "need" to do. Think about it. Are these the things that we really need to do. Or, are these the things that society is telling us (the little voices in our heads) that we need to do. They are truly separate from one another. The next time you feel stressed about not getting things done, focus on what you are doing. Is it really that important to you?

Today's Ramble - 12/13/06

The question: What do you get when you mix greed and hope? The answer: Las Vegas. Greed and hope are very strong instincts in humans. When combined, they create a very powerful mix. Look at how many of the hopeful travel to Las Vegas every year. What motivates them to go? The primary reason is greed. If not to practice greed themselves, it is to be awed by what the greed of millions has wrought. Just imagine if our hopefulness was used in a more fitting way; not hope of winning it big, but hope for a better world for children. The practice of greed will not get us there. With hope and greed mixed together, it will not get us there even faster.