Real Happiness

There's a Better Way to Live

2011-04-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

A poem came to me out of the blue this morning.

He says to me
There's a better way to live
Can you believe it?

Not sure what he's talking about
I try to listen
But my phone keeps ringing

I like the guy - he seems nice
Something about trees
Something about time

I hang up the phone
It looks like rain
It's going to take forever to get home

He doesn't seem concerned
Maybe I'll check the forecast
He talking, but I'm looking down

He's saying to me
There's a better way to live
I tell him maybe later
I've got errands to run

I Am Grateful For Nature

2010-11-24T11:14:00.000-08:00

This week I am thankful; not for what I possess – the luxuries of living in America usually taken for granted – but for the awesome power that the Earth has to inspire and settle me. It has been very cold in Portland recently. And, people are complaining and worrying about what the cold has in store for their inconvenience. It’s difficult to get to the store for that box of stuffing mix if there is too much snow mixed in with the usual rain.

Driving home from work yesterday, I was doing my usual ruminating about the lifeless, arid amalgam that we call culture. Why do I feel forced to work so far from home? There is no life in this suburban industrial zone, just concrete, steel, and faceless others behind tinted windows. I grumbled to myself about an automobile culture that sucks the life and health out of the human condition. As if being snapped out of a nightmare, there it was right in front of me; a beautiful natural vista to the East. The Columbia Gorge emanated with awesome beauty on a frigid, half-lit late autumn day. I could see it (experience it) only in split-second fragments of attention. My life would have been endangered otherwise. Too much attention to the elegant vision off to my side would have meant an ever-so-slight swerve into a freeway lane ruthlessly possessed by a truck laden with product no one really needs or wants. So, the truck, the freeway, the dashboard, my hands gripping the wheel – those were the things that held my attention. They were also the things on which I was ruminating and grumbling. Even so, I was able to swivel my head to the right to take in the view of the distant structures – houses, buildings, trees, hills - lightly covered with fresh snow. Just a flash of view, mind you, but one that overwhelmed my ruminating insistence.

Combined, I “saw” perhaps five seconds of awesome, natural phenomena during my twenty minutes of hustle and bustle commute. Yet, it is the self-constructed vision of those natural phenomena that stays with me. I remember it now as clearly as yesterday. It inspires me and settles me now just as it did then. Everything else about that horrible commute is kaput, purged from my consciousness.

The magic of the natural world to soothe, settle, and inspire us reminds me of a crying baby. I can’t help but believe that our environment is, in some way, crying out to us. Like the baby, it gets our immediate attention. And like the baby, it has the power to cure what ails us. My gratefulness for what nature provides reminds me that I need to listen more to what she is telling me in spite of the noise around me, which is beckoning me to ignore that which has real power to heal, restore, and transform.

Why We Ignore Climate Change

2010-11-16T11:55:00.000-08:00

Much is currently being written about the communication gap that exists between scientists and ordinary Americans regarding climate change. Most of what is being offered neglects an attempt to explain why such a disconcerting gap exists, and why climate change is being ignored by the average citizen. Science tends to be primarily descriptive; giving us facts about how the world works. The scientific descriptions of climate change are downright scary, and inspire primitive human reactions powered by negative emotions, such as fear. Negative emotions have particular relevance to our sense of survival – when we feel fear, we look for a way to escape. Therein lays the problem with science, using the media as an outlet, in communicating its message about climate change to the public. We hear the message loud and clear. But we do not like it. It summons up our negative emotions of fear, guilt, shame, and anger. We avoid these emotions at all costs and, as a result, convince ourselves that climate change is a hoax.

What science (and the media) needs to do is refocus its message to better communicate the potential positives that behavioral change toward greater Earth stewardship can create. There is an abundance of scientific knowledge showing that the so-called “sacrifices” necessary for sustainable living – such as reducing consumption levels and driving less - actually improve our well-being. Even better, this improvement in well-being, powered by positive emotions, broadens our perspective (negative emotions necessarily narrow our focus) and allows us to identify creative and effective solutions to climate change challenges. Fortunately, despite the message from science that environmental collapse is imminent, average Americans are making positive lifestyle changes that are friendly to climate change, and discovering that these changes are improving their communities, health, and well-being.

Messages from science that are scary sell. But it is the good things about the human spirit that science and the media need to communicate better. Scare tactics will not inspire us to overcome this crisis. Identifying and communicating what is best within us will allow us to first, admit that human-caused climate change is real, and second, change our lifestyles to improve the environment and our life satisfaction at the same time. Could there be a more important message to communicate?

Post Election Sadness and Hope

2010-11-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

As I ponder the results of yesterday’s mid-term election, I feel both sad and hopeful. Those of us on the green side of the ledger generally favor Democrats over Republicans – few Republicans openly espouse political reform toward environmental sustainability – and Democrats did not fare well. What I find to be most notable about this election - perhaps because of its obvious absence – is any discussion of environmental issues (one exception was CA Proposition 23, which fortunately went down in flames). Any politician regardless of political bent was compelled to avoid discussion of environmental issues at all costs. The electorate was screaming “it’s the economy stupid” with such deafening bravado that any words that could be construed as impinging on economic development were shot down with laser-like precision.

Humanity has come a long way over the millennia, yet we still struggle with our acknowledgement of the simple truth that our world is a very simple system. The broadest circle is made up of our environment – the natural resources upon which we all depend for survival. Within this broader circle are our social systems – we are first and foremost social creatures, and depend on one another for our livelihood. Finally, nestled within these two much larger circles, we have our economy. This is the circle upon which we place the greatest importance. It is more immediate to us than the two larger circles, with its ebbs and flows seemingly affecting whether we struggle or thrive. And, when our economic system ebbs such as it is now, our survival mechanism takes flight. This powerful and sophisticated mechanism, fueled mostly by negative emotions such as anger and fear, overpowers our ability to see and relate to the bigger picture. This short-sightedness and lack of vision inspires my sadness today.

Our singular focus on the economy would be okay if the ways in which we choose to drive this system did not have such a detrimental impact on the two larger circles upon which it depends. But, our economic system in its present form continues to degrade our social and environmental systems in critical and, perhaps, irreparable ways. This election clearly demonstrated that the general populous wants to continue to throttle our economy toward a date with its own destruction. This is utterly irrational, but it is what we continue to choose to do. We miss the part about how our economy depends on the vitality of our social networks, and how those networks fully depend on the health and vitality of our natural environment. In fear mode, we are unable to see beyond the smallest circle in which we exist – the forest through the trees as it were. Even though the interdependent three-part system on which our long-term survival depends is simple to see in our minds eye, we cannot see it when we cast our vote.

I am hopeful because people still care. Even though the direction of their care is generally misplaced toward material and financial gain, fundamentally people are trying to show love and protection toward those about whom they care most. Caring can inspire negative emotions, such as anger, when we sense that the short-term livelihoods of our intimates are threatened. Caring can also inspire fear, an emotion designed for its short-term effectiveness – our fight or flight capacity is well-honed. In a state of fear, by design we cannot see the bigger picture because it does no good in our effort to survive a perceived immediate threat.

Caring is also part and parcel of positive emotions. And, positive emotions are the ones that allow us to see the bigger picture. In a state of positive emotion, we are more creative and more willing to take in stimuli from the broader world around us (in a negative state we are less willing and able to take in information for good reason – we need to focus our attention to avert imminent disaster). We are more apt to identify with the truth that we are a small part of a much larger interdependent web of life. We are also more able to envision a future which will allow us to thrive, not just for the immediate term, but indefinitely.

If we can learn to approach perceived problems, such as a broken economy, with a more positive perspective, the solutions we identify will more likely take into account the broader circles on which we and our economy depend for long-term survival. We have the capacity to feel positive emotions (which are greater in number and dimension than negative emotions) for good reason. They guide our survival in ways that negative emotions do not allow us to do. They allow us to identify, and act on, creative solutions to our predicaments. Perhaps most importantly, by inspiring a longer term perspective, positive emotions lead us to ways of seeing and experiencing the world that both improve our sense of well-being and ensure that the futures of our children and grandchildren will provide for their maximized well-being. Without taking into account, and working toward, the sustained health of our natural environmental, we are dooming our descendents to the fate that we most desperately want to avoid.

The Commercialization of Children & the Environment

2010-05-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

I came across a nice essay today from Susan Linn, the Executive Director for The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CFCC). One of the reasons I am so passionate about stopping corporate marketers from brain-washing children is because, as Susan points out, brain-washed kids become brain-washed adults. In her words...

"The primacy of marketplace values-and instilling those values into the next generation-imperils everyone. It's true that children benefit immediately and directly when we limit their exposure to commercial marketing. But the impact is so much broader. Allowing kids to grow up free from bombardment by marketing messages is our best chance to nurture adults who recognize the value of preserving, rather than exploiting, environmental riches-who define themselves more as stewards than consumers".

Our children are the answer to seeing through to a way of living that eschews consumerism in favor of communitarianism. As our limited environment reaches its upward limits at the hands of over-exploitation, over-production, and over-consumption, all people must find and inhabit an environmentally sustainable way of living. Doing otherwise will result in collapse. Children are born with the innate ability and vision to see a way of living that is possible to sustain for centuries. As they become commercialized, and are forced to connect well-being with material gains, they lose sight of their innate capacities; they become brain-washed. And, as many of us know, getting back to the crystal clear understanding that our economic and social health are fully-dependent on a healthy environment takes time and effort. Thanks to people like Susan, and organizations like CFCC, there is a chance that many children will be saved from this cruel exploitation and future.

Shared Passion

2009-11-14T14:13:00.000-08:00

I believe that one of the greatest joys in life is discovering others who share the same passion and vision that we do. These discoveries often occur when we least expect it; the serendipity of life's journey never ceases to amaze.

Yesterday, I discovered that Yale University's School of Forestry and Environmental Studies held an invitation-only conference in October, 2007 to address questions around the issue of environmental sustainability and humanity's moral and cultural disconnect with the health of the living system on which we are all dependent. Fifty-seven leading thinkers from diverse fields participated in the conference. Among them, were Paul Hawken, Theodore Roosevelt IV, Juliet Schor, Tim Kasser, James Gustave Speth, Stephen Kellert, and Duane Elgin. It is my opinion that the issues and questions explored by the participants may be the most important ever addressed by the human race.

The outcome of the three-day conference, held in Aspen, Colorado, was a publication (available at http://environment.yale.edu/news/5668) entitled Toward a New Consciousness: Values to Sustain Human and Natural Communities. I have not yet read the full report. Even so, I am so inspired by what I have discovered so far that I could not wait to share it. I think Stephen Kellert brilliantly describes the scope of the conference in the Afterword. He writes:

"We need to address the roots of our predicament – an adversarial relation to the natural world – and find a way to shift our core values and worldviews not just toward the task of sustainability, but toward a society with a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with the creation. In striving for harmony with nature, we need to seek not just a more physically secure and prosperous society, but one marked
as well by moral and spiritual wellbeing.

Despite the dominance until now of a value system that has encouraged environmental degradation and alienation from nature, we are now coming to appreciate that an impoverished biotic system is not only a threat to our physical security, but also to our fullest potential for fulfillment and happiness.

We may be at a proverbial tipping point where modern society aspires not just for economic sustainability, but for harmony and grace that can only be engendered by a richer and more celebratory relation to creation. The moment is at hand for us to serve as an instrument for noteworthy and enduring change".

Now that is beautiful music to my most passionate ears!

Sustainable Consumption - Our Only Hope for Immortality

2009-09-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Break it down again
No more sleepy dreaming
No more building up
It is time to dissolve – Roland Orzabal

Mankind has always been motivated to create something larger than itself, to seek immortality, and to leave a legacy. The Egyptian pharaohs are a perfect example. The pyramids have lasted thousands of years and will last for many more centuries. Today, we are awed by the majesty of these monuments. Hundreds of our most intelligent brothers and sisters have and will become Egyptologists. Millions of our brethren visit these monuments annually. Most visitors report that the experience of being there is like nothing else that they have experienced in their life. The emotion of elevation is felt by most who visit. The same things can be said about the Great Wall of China, the Roman Coliseum, Versailles, the Taj Mahal, and many other great monuments.

Not only do most of these monuments that honor the capacity of human ambition, creativity, and industry represent times of tremendous inequality among humans (masters and slaves). But they represent moments in time when humans had little or no consideration for the impacts that these massive constructions had on the environment. If anything, they were planned and produced in spite of the environment – they were not only representations of man’s capacity for greatness, they represent man’s dominance and control over the land and the other creatures with whom they share the Earth.

We are impressed by what we have built. We travel the world to experience firsthand the magnificence of our creations. We are perhaps moderately saddened but the number of slaves who lost their lives during the construction of the pyramids. But we rarely feel remorse or embarrassment about the environmental effects that such constructions would have had.

This is one of many components of the human condition that works against a sustainable future. Man’s instinct for a legacy works counter to having a small footprint on the Earth. Having little impact (either physically or figuratively) requires tremendous humility. Most of us are not that strong. We prefer that our constructions be viewable from outer space just in case trans-universal visitors happen across our mostly blue planet.

Much of what we build is symbolic; symbolic of our strength, our courage, and our industriousness. These symbols also play to our needs, desires, identities, and our pursuit of meaning. For many, a small environmental footprint symbolizes a life of little meaning or significance. Though most of us will leave little or no legacy whatever, we feel a deeply rooted hope for something much more. Playing down our lives is counterintuitive for us. We can feel pride for limiting the environmental impacts of our lives. But it is a pride in the sense of martyrdom - paying the ultimate price for doing our part to lengthen the life of the Earth, and to improve the lives of those who follow us.

What can be done? How can we get past this innate striving for something greater than ourselves? How can we alter this innate force to guarantee our survival? If this nut can be cracked, then there is hope for a sustainable future. If we do not crack this nut, we (and all of the other living things on the Earth) are likely doomed. What we are talking about here are the psychological forces within us. I propose that these forces hold the key to a sustainable future. Without unlocking the beliefs and emotions that are causing our inevitable destruction, we are fooling ourselves.

For sure, there is a vibrant sustainability movement afoot in the world. Programs such as “An Inconvenient Truth” have had significant impacts. These impacts have been, for the most part, rooted in awareness. We are learning that our actions are damaging our only home in the universe. We are recognizing the reality of the situation. We see it. But do we own it?

Some people own it. They are working toward a sustainable future through everyday actions and organizational involvement. They are affecting change wherever they can. So far, most of this work has been persuasive in nature. The solutions, up to this point, have been predominantly technical. How do we separate the items in our trash for recycling? How do we reduce our CO2 emissions? How do we convince others to change their habits? What laws can be passed to limit pollution? These actions have been effective. There is clearly a ground-swell of support for much of what is being done.

I argue that these actions are a good first step, but we need to take things to the next level. We need to tap the minds of our greatest thinkers in psychology, sociology, anthropology, behavioral economics, and other disciplines focused on the human psyche in order to beat a path to the door that leads to our ultimate survival. The irony is that, if immortality is what we truly seek as a species, then only sustainable living will get us there. The old ways of building great monuments to represent our immortality must come to an end. In a sense we need to deconstruct for our survival. We need to deconstruct our physical environments. And, more importantly, we need to deconstruct our minds. If we can identify those emotional levers that will direct our behaviors to be more sustainable, then we can start working those levers in ways that provide for more sustainable living.

It has taken us thousands of years to recognize that our activities are harming the environment. It will likely take us hundreds more to be able to change our minds about what is important, and have that change be in perfect alignment with our beliefs and emotions. This is a problem that will require much more than technical solutions. The great pyramids were built using technical solutions. But the inspiration and reasons for their construction are found in all of us – our deeply held beliefs and emotions. In the same way, sustainable living will require more than just technical solutions. We will need to get to the sources of our inspiration and meaning before we will be successful.

The Tyranny of Disharmony

2009-09-02T16:34:00.000-07:00

Today's post is from the Zen Master Santee Poromaa (top row, second from left), and captures an interesting perspective of the predicament that many of us find ourselves in today - the feeling that something is not quite right.

Hedonism is the answer to the question how to live life “to its fullest degree”, to search for pleasure and avoid discomfort. To do only what pleases us and in that way fill our lives with maximal pleasure. Hedonism today lives as the ruling religion in our secularized societies. Just as before, hedonists today seek to shape their life and spend their time so that each moment will be as comfortable, pleasurable and joyful as possible. Since we no longer believe in higher powers and a predetermined world there is not much left but to enjoy each moment as if it was the last.

But the difference between the hedonist of the past and those of today is worth reflecting upon. The image of a hedonist in ancient Greece is perhaps the one of a person, laying on a daybed, sipping a good wine and listening to divine music. The hedonist of today however, has not time for that. He’s rushing ahead in a fast car, listening to his MP3 player while talking on his cell phone. Today we’ve convinced ourselves that the more we can fit into the moment, the more meaningful it becomes. Our simultaneous capacity is stretched to its fullest and in our inner sphere numerous different voices now live, fighting for space. We want to do so much, see so many things, live so much more. SMS, MMS, Java, Bluetooth, DVD and MP4. They’re all fighting for a place in our inner sphere, now known as MySpace.com. Our inner sphere, the place where we are free and present, lucid and attentive, has been occupied by demons fighting a war for our attention. Most of these demons come from the special hell known as the Market.

The truth is that modern life demands a lot more from us than we have time for. The only solution is to do many things at once, to pay attention to many different voices at the same time. The effect of this “multitasking” is a sense of disharmony, or what the writer Saul Bellow described as “an unbearable state of distraction”. This state of disharmony is perhaps the most distinguishing feature of our time. The feeling of having too many forces fighting for our attention and demanding something of us is causing more and more of us to live with a constant feeling of not “having enough time” - as if everything was going faster and faster. The paradoxical effect of trying to fit more life into each moment is that we never seem to be quite in it ourselves; the moment we want to enjoy is the place and time where we are not. “Life is what happens while making other plans”, John Lennon sang. Life goes on while we are someplace else.

At the same time this extreme disruption has had another effect as well. It has made us bored. We can’t stand long pieces of music anymore, but prefer classical favorites in short version. While watching films from the fifties and sixties we feel an almost subconscious urge to fast forward through the “dead time”. Impatience and a disability to do nothing is the result. We all, compared to older generations, suffer from attention disorders. In other words, we have become addicted to our own simultaneous capacity and constantly demand new impressions, just as a junkie needs his fix. In the fifties, before television, an entire family could sit at home and listen to the radio. Just listen. Without cleaning or talking on the phone or play video games at the same time. Just sit silently and listen.

Nowadays we rarely give something our full attention. We may give the radio twenty or thirty percent, hardly more. It is more and more common that we call someone to talk and hear how the person on the other line is simultaneously tapping on their keyboard, perhaps answering mails or just surfing. Radio producers today are of course aware of this disharmony and no longer communicate with us as adults - intelligent and independent individuals. Instead they’re fooling around and being silly, preferably as loud as possible since they know that that is the only way to catch at least a fragment of our attention.

Conclusively one can say that our modern hedonism and shopping frenzy has given our lives, not more life, but these side effects: we have become disharmonious and stressed. We have lost touch with our inner clarity. We have lost our ability to concentrate and are easily bored. We’re practically never completely present. And the things that are supposed to entertain and feed our minds - books, theatre, music, movies have become shallower and louder, less serious. The finer shades of life have been lost. Our inner, mental room has been sold to the market forces. The consumption demons run our lives. We are the losers.

Zen masters have a completely different idea of how to live life. In Zen we admit that the moment is all we have. To a Zen master the present isn’t a piece of time in between the past and the future - there to be filled with as many “experiences” as possible. It is instead “an eternal spring”, an infinite place outside of what we call time and space. Release from sufferance and dissatisfaction is, according to this ancient wisdom, about learning how to live consciously. To live consciously is to live now. Not by filling the moment with more but by being completely present. Not to constantly divide our minds and chase after only that which gives us pleasure, but learning how to find pleasure in what one does. In the future it is therefore likely that more and more people willingly will give up shopping, choose to live simply, or, at least, avoid the excess. Not because of an ascetic wish for self-sufferance, but from realizing that happiness cannot be bought. – Santee Poromaa

Capstone Prelude, Part 2

2009-08-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

My MAPP capstone paper has been submitted for publication. Hopefully, it will be accepted. Until then, here is the second (more inspiring) part of the Prelude:

Despite her illness, she continues to evolve, transform, and grow. It is the time for her to change – for the better. She knows that it is not a coincidence that, at the exact point in time when her illness is becoming critical, her thinking and feeling is blossoming. She senses that some profound truth is about to rise to the surface of her consciousness. Now, after billions of years of life she is having an epiphany; she now knows that she possesses the tools necessary to save her precious life. The way that she and her children will overcome illness, transform life, and flourish, is through the magnificent power of positive emotions.

· She has TRUST – for it is the glue that will keep all of her living parts working together in harmony.

· She has HOPE – for she knows that hope is the driver that will get her beyond her current state of illness and to a more positive and healthful destiny.

· She has JOY – for it is the energy that will flow as she heals and transforms herself to vitality and health. She also knows that joy will continue to be available to her throughout her journey.

· She experiences AWE – for she knows of her own excellence and beauty and it inspires her. She is also in awe of the universe. She is but a small part of something much greater, and that gives her life meaning.

· She feels FORGIVENESS – for she knows that forgiving the behaviors that have caused her illness will guide her now and forever because there will always be some bad that goes along with the good.

· She is GRATEFUL – for it motivates her to see things through to a flourishing life. There is so much to be thankful for. Many of her friends throughout the vast universe are without life. She will never let her life end - it is too rare and precious.

· She feels COMPASSION - for it will provide her with the power of knowing that she is intrinsically good despite the mistakes she has made along the way.

· And, she feels LOVE – for it is the sharing of love for which all else is done.

The future is opening up to her – it is opening up and expanding in a most positive way. She is seeing beyond her current state of illness to an existence that is full of happiness, meaning, engagement, and good health. As in her long and tumultuous past, despite the current challenges, she will overcome, transform, and flourish. It is her destiny and she knows it.

Fear & Hope

2009-08-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

Watching the current debate on health care reform has been interesting, to say the least. The battle is a psychological classic - will our most primal negative emotion of fear overwhelm the progressive power of the transcendent positive emotion of hope? Right now, it looks like fear is (once again) winning.

Psychologists have known for quite some time that "bad is stronger than good". What this means is that negative emotions are much more salient than positive emotions. They also result in powerful physiological reactions. Fear, for example, causes cardiovascular reactivity, which increases blood flow to the large muscles allowing us to maximize our capacity to escape imminent danger. If only those feeling the most fearful at town hall meetings would run out of the room as fast as they can!

What's more important for the healthful evolution of human society is that negative emotions narrow our attention and limit our focus to the short-term. This is important for escaping predators, but is a terrible motivator for inspired societal change.

The survival value of positive emotions, on the other hand, is in the potential for the future. They literally broaden our capacity to envision a better future for ourselves - that is their ultimate purpose. Now, more than ever, we need positive emotions, such as hope, to guide us toward a more healthful future. The more the powerful emotion of fear guides our policy, the more short-sighted and less inspired this policy will be.

It looks likely that fear will overcome this time around. Ultimately, we must draw on the creative and transformative powers of positive emotions, in spite of fear, to authentically open up to the possibilities that exist to expand human flourishing.

Capstone Accepted!

2009-08-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

I am very pleased to announce that my capstone (thesis) paper, the culmination of my master's degree program at Penn, has been officially accepted by the university.

My capstone project, entitled "Cultivated Positive Emotions Inspire Environmentally Responsible Behaviors", will hopefully be published soon. Below is a teaser for your enjoyment:

PRELUDE

From space, she looks just as she has for millennia. The depth of her blue is still beyond description. The complex swirling white patterns rising above the blue give the impression of both profound energy and staggering beauty. She appears as the embodiment of peace. What cannot be seen from space, however, is that she is sick - very sick. No one would ever know it from how absolutely stunning she looks from way up here. Not only is she very sick, but she is getting sicker every day. Her illness is not the result of some extraterrestrial menace. Her health is fading because of her own behavior – the activities of those for whom she is home. These harmful activities are making it difficult for her to flourish.

Her blood feels thick and heavy, making her lethargic. She is constantly stressed and anxious. The bad weather that she carries around with her all the time is really starting to affect her. She is finding it more and more difficult each revolution around the sun to shake the storm clouds that shroud her thoughts and emotions. After each daily rotation, it is harder for her to see and think clearly. Mother Earth is depressed and dismayed.

She knows that something needs to be done. For the past several hundred years, the behaviors of her children have been destructive. Deep down, she knows that these destructive ways can no longer continue. Unlike her children, however, her memory spans thousands of millennia. She personally identifies with all that has gone before, and she knows that those who now dominate her vast surface are a formidable foe. Though she recognizes that some treatment of her symptoms is important and necessary, just fixing what is wrong with her will not be enough to cure her. Like all living things eventually do, she has reached a critical point in her life.

A Thing of Beauty!

2009-08-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, I promised that this blog (this time around) would be more fun and uplifting. Well, I just could not resist posting these absolutely delightful lyrics from Joni Mitchell - delightful in the sense that they perfectly capture the cruelty of big business and the market economy.

All around the marketplace, the buzzing of the flies
The buzzing and the stinging
Divinely barren and wickedly wise
The killer nails are ringing
Enter the multitudes
In Exxon blue
In radiation rose
Tragedy, now you tell me
Who you gonna get to do your dirty work when the slaves are free?

Real Happiness Is Back!

2009-07-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

After two-and-a-half years, a career change, and a master's degree, Real-Happiness is back! The time has come (again) to share ideas, research findings, and theories about living happier in spite of consumer culture.

One thing that is somewhat different from the earlier blog is that the bent will be more "green". Much has changed in the world over the past three years. One of the most profound changes is how our culture is finally starting to recognize the real benefits of living more simply and sustainably.

I'm also expecting that the "new" Real-Happiness blog will be more fun and uplifting. Please share and enjoy!

Today's Ramble - 2/19/07

2007-02-19T14:41:00.000-08:00

I think there is a link between the realization that our consumer culture is making us sick and the sustainability movement. Our relentless pursuit of prosperity has changed the world from one of scarcity to one of excess. We are genetically wired to compete for resources in a world of scarcity. Yet when our comfort is all but guaranteed by the civilization of excess in which we live, our natural instincts work against us. The discomfort we feel with our lives of excess encourages us to seek answers. As we learn that our actions not only lead to discomfort but to the devastation of the Earth, we strive to live in ways that are sustainable. The argument that we are hopelessly destined to destroy the Earth through our instinctual actions is losing ground. Could it be that the system of life on Earth, of which we are a part, is "telling" us that it is time for us to behave differently? We have "progressed" too far. It is time for respite, renewal and rebirth.

Today's Ramble - 2/12/07

2007-02-12T09:33:00.000-08:00

Food for thought. It came as somewhat of a surprise to me that humanity has known that money will not buy happiness for thousands of years (straightforwardly expressed by writings of the ancients). Yet, our species (particularly Americans) continues to believe that it is so. How have we not been able to recognize and absorb this proven fact? Will we ever?

Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert suggests that the reason may be in what he calls the super-replification of beliefs. It is not necessarily the truth of the belief that it important for our species to perpetuate. What is important is that the belief, and the activities associated with it, is a "communication" channel for something that is truly important to our survival. In other words, the social interaction and "progress" (i.e. efficiency) that result from the false-belief that money will buy happiness is what is important. Humans are innately wired to compete, produce, and consume. Our beliefs drive our actions.

The question is then, is it possible for our species to not destroy the Earth? Maybe the planet's destruction is hard-wired into our genetic code. Of course, this intellectual expose is off the subject of happiness somewhat. Yet happiness is a big emotional driver for humans. Our search for happiness, combined with our false-belief that money will buy it, leads us headlong into oblivion. I think we can escape it. Do you?

Today's Ramble - 2/5/07

2007-02-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today's Ramble comes from Dr. Peter Whybrow, the author of American Mania: When More Is Not Enough. "In achieving material success, we have dramatically changed the social circumstances under which millions of Americans live and work until many, now pushed close to the limits of their physical and mental tolerance, are beginning to lose faith in the time-hallowed narrative of the American Dream - that if you compete, work hard, and pay your taxes, then one day you will be rich and happy. Something is not right. We seem to have lost touch with the purpose of our quest. Increasingly, when the behavioral outcomes of our manic pursuit are measured, it is not happiness that we find but the disturbing trends of rising anxiety, obesity, and greed. In the face of the growing sickness it is time to pause and to reflect."

Today's Ramble - 2/2/07

2007-02-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

Adam Smith, the "father" of free market economics, stated the following :

"In what constitutes the real happiness of human life, the poor are in no respect inferior to those who would seem so much above them. In ease of body and peace of mind, all the different ranks of life are nearly upon a level, and the beggar, who suns himself by the side of the highway, possesses that security which kings are fighting for."

It's ironic, but Adam Smith understood that wealth does not preceed happiness. Even though he was a proponent of progress through free market capitalism, he understood that it was not necessarily a pathway to happiness. Perhaps what he did not understand was how humans would be convinced that their happiness was dependent upon their level of wealth.

Today's Ramble - 1/29/07

2007-01-29T14:23:00.000-08:00

One of the things by which I am the most fascinated is how people spend their money. I prefer the term "invest" over "spend". But, regardless, how people invest their money tells a lot about them, and a lot about society in general. I read this weekend in the Oregonian about a couple who had written in to a columnist looking for advice on the best way to reduce their credit card debt. These folks had a combined household income of between $190,000 and $250,000 (depending on the year) and $68,000 in credit card debt. They wrote that they were not able to contribute to a retirement account or save money for college because of the credit card debt cost. The only thing more mind-boggling than this question coming from people with this kind of income is the non-chalance with which the columnist answered the question. It is as if this is an ordinary situation. If it is, can someone please direct me back to Kansas? What in the world do these people invest all of this money in?

My guess is that they are focused on pleasure and status (oh, and a lot of shopping). Yet, the question was not "how can we get better control of our spending?" It was, "should I sell my company stock to pay off our credit card debt?". Obviously, I am only guessing about the financial choices that these folks have made. It could be that they have had exhorbitant medical expenses to cover. The point is, this apparently absurd situation is treated as nothing unusual. I don't know about you, but that tells me that our society's ability to save and control spending is past. We are in for some tough times ahead my friends.

Today's Ramble - 1/25/07

2007-01-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

I apologize to my many readers for the delay in posting to the blog. Today's entry has to do with the falsehood of the pursuit of self-realization. We have heard for the past thirty years, at least, that that is our utmost purpose in life - a self-realized person is a happy person. The search for meaning in our lives is important. But it turns out that the relentless pursuit of self-realization (the "me" generation) has resulted ironically in many individuals with low self-esteem and a sense of being "lost".

Happiness research has shown why this may be so. People need to feel that they exist for something larger than themselves. They need to focus and work on something that provides a common good. Happiness comes from within and without. The two are not in contradiction. It is not one or the other, it is both. Richard Layard boils it all down to a compassion towards oneself and others. What he calls the "Greatest Happiness" is essentially the expression of that ideal. We need each other, not things. Through our relations with others we will attain a higher sense of well-being for ourselves.

Today's Ramble - 1/15/07

2007-01-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

Richard Layard, in his excellent book "Happiness: Lessons from a New Science", argues that loss-aversion is an inconvenient fact of human nature. Studies show that, on average, if someone loses $100, his mood worsens twice as much as it would if he gained $100. Studies have also shown happiness falls relatively little (i.e. 2 points) when family income drops by a third. By comparison, a separation results in an 8 point fall. Lay-off or firing results in a 6 point fall. Subjective health down 20% equals a 6 point drop. So, think about spending more time building relationships or getting healthy. The positive impact will be greater than working those extra hours in order to secure a pay increase. If a one-third drop of income is worth 2 points, then a one-third increase is worth 1 point. If a 20% drop in health is worth 6 happiness points, a 20% improvement in health will increase your happiness score by 3 points. That's equal to a doubling of your income! Keep that in mind the next time you think about how you will "spend" your precious time.

Today's Ramble - 1/9/07

2007-01-09T13:26:00.000-08:00

As promised, today's ramble has to do with "hope". The ancient Greeks considered hope to be an evil, but a necessary one. Without hope, there is despair. And that is worse. I tend to agree. The word "hope" is used quite loosely in today's language. Hope is indeed a very tricky and potentially insidious belief. Hope can be good. It can strengthen our regard for the goodness of mankind. It can also be bad, very bad. Hope built on desire and wishful thinking disempowers us. Hope without action eventually immobilizes us. Hope and positive thinking are NOT the same thing. Too much hope places our destiny in the hands of others. Positive thinking manifests itself into reality more often as others pick up on our positive energy. The behavior is rewarded. Hope is not rewarded. We must be strong to hope. Negative outcomes from hope should not be personalized. When they are, we defeat ourselves. We can become depressed and unwilling to act for fear that things just won't work out. Apply hope wisely. Know that it can be both noble and evil. Remember, only you choose to feel the way that you do. Don't let false hope get you down.

Today's Ramble - 1/8/07

2007-01-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

The temporal component of happiness is a struggle for many of us. Eastern philosophy espouses an emphasis on the here and now - our immediate experiences brings us happiness. This is much easier said than done. Many look to the future for their happiness. This, as it turns out, is ineffective as we end up being way off base in terms of how future experiences will affect our happiness (see Daniel Gilbert link on this blog). Living in the past is equally "dangerous" to our well-being as sentimentality can limit the positive impacts that our current and future experiences have on us. Many of us find ourselves in a void - a place where we relive happy experiences of our past while, at the same time, wish that our futures will bring us the happiness that we crave. The void seems to travel with us through time - we never seem to get to where we want to be. Great thinkers have often written about this. Here are two of my favorites.

1) "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" - Dr. Suess. The power of this simple phrase is quite extraordinary. It speaks a simple truth about happiness. Yet, truly taking heed to what it says is very difficult indeed.

2) "The man is freed from servile hands of hope to rise or fear to fall, Lord of himself, though not of lands, and having nothing yet hath all" - Sir Henry Wotton. Life without hope is full of despair. Yet a life where hope drives our well-being is destined to be unhappy.

Next time, more on hope...

Today's Ramble - 1/5/07

2007-01-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

First, a delayed Happy New Year to my readers out there...

One of the cornerstones of happiness is good health. Everyone knows that good health is the result of a combination of genetics, eating right, exercising, and maintaining a manageable level of stress. At the present time, we cannot do much about our genetic makeup, other than taking certain medications (e.g. cholesterol lowering drugs). The remaining three are well within our power. Unfortunately, our turbo-driven consumer society makes it difficult for us to properly manage these three critical components of good health.

1) Eating right - did you know that Dr. Dean Ornish's heart healthy regimen is based on the subsistence diet of the peasants of China, Brazil, and Egypt? It turns out that the food items that are the most expensive often times turn out to be worst for us. Simple, locally grown, food is likely your best bet. Also, recent studies on caloric intake in rats strongly suggest that moderate, low calorie diets are best for improving energy and lifespan. Under our "more is better" banner, this seems counterintuitive.

2) Exercise takes time. We generally spend too much time working, commuting, and shopping. We must carve out time for exercise. An alternative is to exercise while working, commuting, and shopping. How about speed shopping (running from store to store)?

3) Stress not only negatively impacts our health (heart disease, ulcers, etc.), but it directly impacts our sense of well-being. It is the happiness double-whammy. There are many tips available, such as deep breathing, that can help take the edge off of our stress. For many, however, stress is a chronic condition. In those cases, significant lifestyle changes are necessary. Don't be afraid to change. You may find that you are much happier (and stress free) after you do.

Today's Ramble - 12/28/06

2006-12-28T15:52:00.000-08:00

Today's ramble is actually a link to an essay written several years ago by Michael Ventura. It was published in Psychology Today. Even though the ultimate premise is far-reaching, I think the essay is brilliant. It encapsulates many of the ideas that I am attempting to express in this blog. If nothing else, it builds a strong case for fundamental change in our society. Enjoy!
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1175/is_n2_v28/ai_16607911

Today's Ramble - 12/27/06

2006-12-27T10:45:00.000-08:00

Today's ramble has to do with kids. An article in today's newspaper disturbed me. The thrust of the article was on post-Christmas shopping. It highlighted some teenagers who were completely hell-bent on purchasing as much as possible (on sale) with the money they received for Christmas. This "perspective" reminds me how far our society has come in terms of successfully marketing to children.

My somewhat cynical mind cannot help but predict a blossoming epidemic. The economy is about to enter into a period of recession, mostly fueled by reduced house values. This recession will hit just as today's materialistic teenagers are graduating from college. The mindset that many of these kids have predisposes them to the belief that their self-worth is directly linked to their ability to earn and spend money - to live the lifestyle that they envision for themselves based mostly on media images. A few will have some semblance of the lifestyle they are envisioning. Most will not. This is particularly true as downward pressures on wages become a reality. These young adults will feel like they have failed. They will need our help to see it through. We must help them to recognize that money never has, and never will, buy them happiness. Hopefully many will come to understand that real happiness is within their power regardless of financial means.

Today's Ramble - 12/26/06

2006-12-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

The truly destitute are not those without money, but those without love in their lives. Happiness is a level playing field - we all have the ability to love and be loved regardless of our financial means.

The Holiday Ramble - 12/22/06

2006-12-22T13:02:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation this morning with a non-Christian immigrant about Christmas. His perception is that what seems to be missing from the way most Americans practice Christmas is the spirit. He notices the consumption and commercialization first and foremost. Beyond that, he sees what he calls "glitter" or fluff. The holiday season is a good time to reflect on our history as a species, and where we are going. Let the practice of Christmas in America at the beginning of the 21st Century be your guide. Indeed, the sprit of Christmas is vanishing. In its place has arisen spending, obligation, and stress.

What's ironic about the Christmas season is that it is a time when people are allowed to practice those things that truly bring people happiness; love, sharing, togetherness, giving. For many, it has become a time of anger, stress, and depression. Much of it is related to our attempt to emulate a manufactured idealized Christmas experience. When our family room doesn't look like those in our favorite catalogs, we ask ourselves "why?". What is wrong with us that we can't have the kind of Christmas that we are supposed to have, that we are entitled to? Well, what we are entitled to is our Christmas. We choose the way we want to celebrate Christmas, and the emotions that result. It is within our power to give this season real meaning to ourselves and those whom we love.

Today's Ramble - 12/21/06

2006-12-21T13:53:00.000-08:00

If you are feeling a lot of stress, you are not alone. As a reminder, stress can create significant levels of unhappiness - we want to avoid it as much as possible. A recent study (published yesterday by The Associated Press) shows that close to 75% of people in the U.S., Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, South Korea, and the United Kingdom say they experience stress on a daily basis. South Korea, with its turbo-charged, hightech, consumer-driven society ranked first at 81%. Mexico was lowest at 45%.

People in the U.S. cite financial pressures as the top worry (imagine that). Other factors attributed to causing stress are multiple jobs, long commutes (our most unhappy part of each day), and increasingly complex technology. Gershen Kaufman, professor emeritus of Michigan State University states that "the level of stress in fast-paced technological societies has been accelerating. There's an increased emphasis placed on wealth in this country (US). We're gradually exporting this around the world."

Today's Ramble - 12/20/06

2006-12-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

Here is another entry for "a world gone mad". These statistics are hot off the press from the Census Bureau's "Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2007".

1) Of the 8,760 total hours in a year, the average American sprends 3,518 hours directly in contact with some form of media. That's five months out of twelve! Americans spend 65 days (1,560 hours) watching TV, 41 days listening to the radio, and 7 days each surfing the net, reading the newspaper, and listening to music. These days are measured as 24 hours each. That means, the average American spends the equivalent of 195 eight-hour periods watching TV each year. That is the equivalent of 75% of the amount of time the average American spends working. It's no wonder that most people just work, sleep, watch TV, and shop.

2) While nearly four in five of the 1970 college freshmen cited "developing a meaningful philosophy of life" as an important objective of attending college, three out of four in 2005 said their primary objective was "being very well off financially". What happens to these 75% of freshmen when this turns out not to be the reality for them? A few will realize this "dream", but most will not. How will they feel about their lives then?

3) Americans own 2.1 billion pairs of shoes. That's seven pairs of shoes for every man, women, and child in this country.

Today's Ramble - 12/19/06

2006-12-19T13:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I will quote Warren Buffet. If my memory serves me correctly, Mr. Buffet is the second richest man in the U.S. Perhaps besides Bill Gates, he is the ultimate "Jones". Keeping up with him financially? Forget about it! Now that he is well into his 70s, here is what he says about success.

"If people get to my age and they have the people love them that they want to have love them, they're successful. It doesn't make any difference if they've got a thousand dollars in the bank or a billion dollars in the bank... Success is really doing what you love and doing it well. It's as simple as that. I've never met anyone doing that who doesn't feel like a success. And I've met plenty of people who have not achieved that and whose lives are miserable."

Today's Ramble - 12/14/06

2006-12-14T16:51:00.000-08:00

Today's ramble has to do with time. Time is the one thing that treats everyone EXACTLY the same - it is the ultimate democrat. We all have exactly 24 hours a day to live. Of course, we have varying lifespans. So, the total time we have can vary from person to person. We will save that discussion for another time...

The point today is that we do not spend time. Instead, we are spending our life. How we choose to spend our life is up to us. Time is basically irrelevant. When we say we do not have the time, that is really not true. We all have the same amount of time. When we say that we do not have enough time, what we are really saying is that we are choosing to spend our time in ways that create stress in our lives. Today's fast-paced, consumer-driven society makes us feel as if we do not have the time to do everything that we "need" to do. Think about it. Are these the things that we really need to do. Or, are these the things that society is telling us (the little voices in our heads) that we need to do. They are truly separate from one another. The next time you feel stressed about not getting things done, focus on what you are doing. Is it really that important to you?

Today's Ramble - 12/13/06

2006-12-13T14:48:00.000-08:00

The question: What do you get when you mix greed and hope? The answer: Las Vegas. Greed and hope are very strong instincts in humans. When combined, they create a very powerful mix. Look at how many of the hopeful travel to Las Vegas every year. What motivates them to go? The primary reason is greed. If not to practice greed themselves, it is to be awed by what the greed of millions has wrought. Just imagine if our hopefulness was used in a more fitting way; not hope of winning it big, but hope for a better world for children. The practice of greed will not get us there. With hope and greed mixed together, it will not get us there even faster.

Today's Ramble - 12/11/06

2006-12-11T12:59:00.000-08:00

Today's ramble has to do with the concept of choice. There has been considerable research conducted over the past fews years that has shown that, when presented with an over-abundance of choices, people can become confused, stressed, and depressed. Often times, to many choices force people to opt out from making a choice all together. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. It is a good thing because sometimes the best medicine is too avoid the circumstances that stress us. It is bad thing because the more these situations occur, the more someone is inclined to not only opt out, but check out. This can result in isolation, and encourage feelings of fear and distrust. Barry Schwartz, Professor of Psychology at Swarthmore College, recommends doing the following things to better deal with the overwhelming choices we all face in today's world.

1. Choose when to choose.
2. Be a Chooser, not a picker.
3. Satisfice more; maximize less.
4. Consider the opportunity costs of opportunity costs.
5. Make your decisions nonreversible.
6. Adopt an "attitude of gratitude."
7. Regret less.
8. Anticipate adaptation.
9. Control expectations.
10. Curtail social comparisons.
11. Learn to love constraints.

A Call to Retreat

2006-12-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

The American Heritage Dictionary defines “retreat” as:

(1) The act or process of withdrawing, especially from something hazardous, formidable, or unpleasant.
(2) The process of going backward or receding from a position or condition gained.
(3) A period of seclusion, retirement, or solitude

The race to “win”, to achieve the American Dream, to keep up with the Jones’ are all unrealizable. The persistence with which people in our society hold on to these false ideals is without reason. Juliet Schor writes that the greater the weight people place on the social comparison aspect of their consumption, the greater the social irrationality…the system begins to take on a perverse character.

Today, the call to retreat from over-consumption is a relatively weak voice. Pressures are building, however. And, people are choosing to retreat one at a time. The result is certain to be better for our environment, better for our communities, and better for us individually.

Today's Ramble - 12/07/06

2006-12-07T12:28:00.000-08:00

Martin Seligman, in his book "Authentic Happiness", refers to the "banker's paradox". In summary, the banker's paradox is that the person who needs a loan the most is less likely to get it. If a person has poor credit and few prospects, he will likely be turned down for a loan. If a person has good credit and a multitude of prospects, he will likely receive a loan.

Love is natural selection's answer to the "banker's paradox". Love adeptly defies this law. Love transcends "what have you done for me lately" and mocks the theory of universal human selfishness. The destitute man who cannot get a loan can find happiness through loving relationships with others. Cynics may not truly believe that love transcends. Research shows otherwise. In a happiness study conducted by Seligman and Diener, every person (except one) in the top 10 percent of happiness was currently involved in a romantic relationship.

Today's Ramble - 12/06/06

2006-12-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

If over-consumption leads to unhappiness, and our consumption habits are tied to our perception of "the good life", how can we break this pattern? Obviously, awareness is the first step. We need to break down these associations and immunize ourselves against what Juliet Schor calls "symbolic spending triggers". If there is something that we really want but don't actually need, there is a good chance that a recurring symbolic fantasy is attached to it. Laying bare the fantasy illuminates the often tenuous link between the product and the dream, thereby reducing the power that the object has over us. When identity (I need that designer wardrobe for my prestigious job) and consumption are linked, getting too deliberate (i.e. being aware of the cause of the desire) spoils the symbolism. When we take it a step further and really analyze the cost of the item in terms of how much time we need to work to earn it, the item begins to further lose its appeal.

Today's Ramble - 12/05/06

2006-12-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

Many writings on voluntary simplicity and anti-consumption cite evidence that, not only does the influence of money in our lives reduce our level of happiness, but it diminishes the importance and value of community. Recent research at the University of Minnesota shows that test subjects exposed to reminders of money were more reticent about asking for help than those not exposed to money. The lead investigator of the study said, "the magnitude of the difference was tremendous". A graduate student suggests that money seems to foster a feeling of self-sufficiency and less reliance on others. I offer the suggestion that greed and its protectionist character is at work.

Today's Ramble - 11/30/06

2006-11-30T13:29:00.000-08:00

As I was participating in a voluntary simplicity discussion yesterday, it occurred to me that our country (and the world for that matter) wastes an incomprehensible amount of brain power (intellectual/creative resources) on consuming things. Just think about all of those well-educated lawyers agonizing over which luxury car to buy. Think of the architect and his wife shopping for just the perfect refrigerator for their beach house. How about the human resources director surfing the internet and pouring over catalogs looking for the perfect new wardrobe? I don't have the statistics about shopping at my fingertips, but I know that people spend large amounts of time searching for, looking at, analyzing, and dreaming about things that they would like to own. If this time were spent more productively, how much better would our society be?

Today's Wisdom - 11/29/06

2006-11-29T09:58:00.000-08:00

If you can truly and deeply reflect on your life as the following quote from Dr. Seuss directs, you will be a happy person.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

Today's Ramble - 11/28/06

2006-11-28T12:44:00.000-08:00

I heard a couple of interesting stories on NPR this morning on my way to work. The first dealt with carbon credits. It turns out that carbon credit purchasing is exploding at the retail level. People buy these credits to pay for programs that reduce carbon emissions in direct proportion to the amount of pollution their household produces annually. The idea is brilliant. Unfortunately, it is not working well in practice. An expert in England likened the purchasing of carbon credits to a confessional in church. Individuals relieve their guilt about polluting the environment by buying their way out of it. It turns out that very few of them actually do anything about really trying to reduce their footprints on the Earth.

The second story was about how bad traffic has become in Russia. There are three times as many cars on the roads there as during communist rule. People are spending large portions of their incomes for cars, and just sitting in traffic for hours a day. Citizens of Moscow reported much higher levels of stress and anger about getting around the city. It turns out that the fall of the iron curtain and the resultant explosion of free enterprise is having a disruptive influence on these newly "free" citizens.

Today's Ramble - 11/27/06

2006-11-27T12:38:00.000-08:00

Tis' the season. Seasonal gift giving contributes significantly to over-consumption, and the psychological damage that can occur as a result. I am a proponent of giving. However, things have really gotten out of control. Juliet Schor's research points out that often times gift giving between spouses ends up (over the years) becoming a way to justify buying expensive gifts for ourselves. Isn't it common for couples to pre-plan their gift giving? I'll get you the iPod, you can get me the watch. I will buy you the diamond earrings, you can buy me the alloy wheels for my car. This is consumptive self-gratification disguised as gift giving.

The same thing occurs when gifts are exchanged between other family members and friends. It can end up being a game of oneupmanship. Of course, the same is true for weddings, baby showers, birthdays, etc. The heavily advertised gift giving season has become almost the antithesis of what gift giving is all about. It is about thoughtfulness and caring. It is a way to show you care about someone, and are thinking about them. When the giving of a gift becomes culturally mandatory, it loses its value as a token of human connection. This is particularly true when the item being offered comes from a lengthy list. For those that cannot compete in this expensive ritual because of limited financial resources, a feeling of inadequacy results. Often times these folks develop very negative feelings about the holiday season. Combined with over-consumption, holiday gift giving is no longer goodwill to all men.

Today's Ramble - 11/26/06

2006-11-26T09:57:00.000-08:00

I have had a few days off of work. It has given me a chance to recharge my batteries. It has also given me a chance to feel grateful for all that my life is. Finally, it has given me the chance to read the newspaper cover to cover every day. Here is a summary of a "world gone mad".

1) 400 people waited in line at Walmart at 5:00 am to get the best deal on plastic toys from China.
2) A car buying survey finds that people factor in location and quantity of cup holders in their car-buying decision before considering fuel efficiency.
3) A personal finance columnist, responding to someone with poor credit asking about how to improve it, suggests taking out a high interest loan auto loan to improve her credit score.
4) A new Volvo has a heartbeat detector that informs owners through the key fob that someone is hiding in the backseat (no, I did not make this up).
5) LL Bean will send out 200,000,000 catalogs this year (how many trees is that?).
6) China will add 50 new coal-fired power plants this year (so they can produce all of the crap we buy at Walmart).

And, that's just all that I can remember.

Today's Ramble - 11/22/06

2006-11-22T12:11:00.000-08:00

Two of the most interesting hot research areas in psychology are choice and energy. Much research has shown that too many choices in life can create considerable stress. Stress leads to poor health, unhappiness, and so on. Last evening, I participated in an audio discussion with participants in the Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology mentioned that he is very excited about some new research being done that links too many choices to a decrease in energy. This research has also shown a decrease in IQ related to an overwhelming number of choices. This evidence directly supports the idea that consumerism is having a negative impact on our well being. The consumerist world has created even more choices for people, which on the surface, seems like a good thing. It is turning out to not be such a good thing. Not only is a consumerist foray a large user of valuable time, but it turns out to be relieving its practitioners of life energy and intellect. Think about this the next time you go searching for the perfect couch for your living room.

Today's Ramble - 11/21/06

2006-11-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Until we can teach monkeys to read, we are all humans. We contain a complete mix of all of the emotions, both good and bad. Through the identification with and practice of these emotions, we develop a self. This self is experienced and criticized internally and externally (by others). This self identity develops and changes over time. We build character.

Happiness is a very convenient and effective guide for building character. If we get too far from a general feeling of happiness, we can be safe in assuming that something has gone sideways with our self, our character. A perfect example of this is the unsettled and unfulfilling feeling that many of us have after a prolonged focus on consumption and materialism. The greed and sefishness required for us to be "good" consumers leaves us feeling unwhole. A simple steering away from greed and hedonism will lead to a stronger sense of happiness. When this happens, we can be rest assured that we are building good character for ourselves. And, we are setting a good example for those who we affect in our every day living.

Today's Ramble - 11/20/06

2006-11-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

For today's Ramble, I am borrowing an idea from Peter Block (www.peterblock.com). People (and teams of people) often settle on the question of "how?" when working toward a solution. Block argues that "how?" looks for answers outside of us. Focusing on the "how?" is an indirect expression of our doubts. It is a defense against taking action. How many times have you experienced this? It is often times the most experienced people who do this the most (particulaly in a work environment). They know "how?" (or can figure it out fairly easily). Usually what is missing is a lack of commitment to the "what?" or the "why?"

Think about it in the context of your personal life. What are the things in your life that are the most important to you? What defines you? Why to you feel that these things define you? These are questions that have become more and more difficult for many people to answer. I believe that our society's focus on consumption, and the myriad of choices related to the aquisition of goods and services, has taken our attention away from answering the truly important questions in life. We get good at the "how?". So, we apply our "how?" skills to more fundamental questions. We are finding the answers to these questions harder and harder to come by. Peter Block suggests deliberately doing the following:

1) Ask what will it take for me to claim my own freedom and create the experience of my OWN choosing (not the choice between which big screen TV is better).

2) Ask when will I choose to use my talents in service to self and others rather than to hold back and settle.

3) Ask when I finally choose adventure and accept the fact that there is no safe path.

Today's Ramble - 11/9/06

2006-11-09T14:50:00.000-08:00

Today's Ramble has to do with the concept of desire. Consumer culture has helped most Americans develop a very strong desire muscle. The constant barrage of advertisements is designed to build this muscle to such as extent that it is impossible to avoid the impulse of buying. In fact, most people's desire muscle is much stronger than their will power muscle. Just take a look at the numbers associated with consumer credit and debt.

A recent study on inner desire has shown that 61% of respondents always have something in mind that they look forward to buying. The "wish lists" contained an average of 6.3 items and were heavily dominated by material possessions. In fact, consumable items outnumbered idealized ideas three to one. For every person dreaming about better health, for example, three were dreaming about that new car. The most interesting finding in this study is that wish lists did not vary by sex, education, income, or standard of living. To use Juliet Schor's words, "consumerism is an equal opportunity ideology".

Today's Ramble - 11/7/06

2006-11-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

First, let me STRONGLY suggest that you read Juliet Schor's "The Overspent American". This book is immensely accessible, thoroughly researched, and mind-bending in its aim. I liken it to "The Matrix" where everyone goes about their business not knowing that they are really on life-support wasting away in a pod in some giant machine.

The primary point of the book is that we, as consumers (and breathers), identify with a lifestyle "reference" group that lives well above our means. She has discovered that this perceived reference group continues to "succeed" to a greater extent than we do. She states that "the sociological trend was the upward shift in consumer aspirations and the vertical stretching out of reference groups." The result is not just a deeply-felt sense of failure, but a real perception that it takes so much more money (and stuff) to make ends meet and be happy. The reference groups commonly identified with by the average middle and upper middle class American has an income that is three, four, or five times his or her own.

The statistics supporting this reference group hypothesis are many. Here are some samples. In 1975, the "good life" meant a vacation home (19% of respondents), a swimming pool (14%), a lot of money (38%), and a happy marriage (84%). In 1991, the "good life" meant a vacation home (35%), a swimming pool (29%), a lot of money (55%), and a happy marriage (77%). I guess we traded in our happy marriage for a swimming pool.

Today's Ramble - 11/1/06

2006-11-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

As we start yet another rainy November in the Pacific Northwest, I wanted to cite some lyrics that (for me) perfectly describe our desire to slow down life's hectic pace. These lyrics were written by Neil Peart of Rush.

I turn my back to the wind, to catch my breath, before I start off again
Driven on without a moment to spend, to pass an evening with a drink and a friend
I let my skin get too thin, I'd like to pause, no matter what I pretend
Like some pilgrim who learns to transend, learns to live as if each step was the end

Time stand still
I'm not looking back, but I want to look around me now
See more of the people and the places that surround me now

Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away....

I turn my face to the sun, close my eyes, let my defenses down
All those wounds that I can't get unwound
I let my past go too fast, no time to pause, if I could slow it all down
Like some captain whose ship runs aground, I can wait until the tide comes around

Make each impression a little bit stronger
Freeze this motion a little bit longer
The innocence slips away....

Summer's going fast, nights growing colder
Children growing up, old friends growing older
Experience slips away....

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T09:35:00.000-08:00

Today's commentary has to do with the trend toward using shopping malls for trick or treating. Like so much of what is bad with modern society, this practice on the surface seems so innocuous. It allows kids to stay warm and dry. It allows kids to round up tons of candy in a short amount of time. It is convenient for parents. And, most of all, it is SAFE - no pesky cars or child molesters lurking in the bushes. What comes across to many as a good idea actually is another nail in the coffin for civilized society. In effect, kids in a mall are like fish in a barrel for marketers. It allows them just another opportunity to prey on us - to convince us that what they are selling is something that we need. The traditional practice of trick or treating, which brings people living in the same neighborhood together through fun and tradition, is being replaced by a manufactured world.

By going to the mall to trick of treat, we pile in the SUV and pollute the air. By making it easy for kids to acquire a lot of candy in a small area, we promote lack of exercise and childhood obesity. By taking our kids out of the neighborhoods in which they live, we diminish the spirit of our communities. By supporting the retailers in the mall, we exacerbate the effects of consumerism and materialism on our children. When our children's children celebrate halloween, there will no longer be a choice. To trick or treat it will be necessary to hit the mall. Homeowners will no longer decorate their houses in scary attire to attract the neighborhood's little ghosts and goblins. A very sad day indeed.

Today's Ramble - 10/30/06

2006-10-30T13:18:00.000-08:00

Today's ramble has to do with the idea that we may be living longer in terms of years. But, we are actually living less and less because we are giving up the things that really make for a good life. "If more and more of your time and attention and spirit is exhausted pursuing the things they (marketers) con you into believing you need -- bigger house, nicer car, fancier ring, higher limit credit cards, more pharmaceuticals, sleeker cell phone -- you can subtract that time from your living."

This quote (and concept) comes from columnist Brian W. Vaszily. See www.sixwise.com. I encourage you to read his column. He has a strong background in marketing, and readily admits to having been a partner-in-crime. I give consumers more credit that Brian. However, the statistics on depression he cites are astounding. I am not surprised. Happiness research has shown that attempting to keep up with the Jones' and consistently failing (as one is destined to do), results in as much unhappiness as losing a spouse or job. The marketing machine is constantly bombarding us with a lifestyle that we can never achieve. The funny thing, and the part that I think is missing from Brian's commentary, is why people truly think and feel that being rich and having the lifestyle demonstrated by savvy marketers is the answer to their dreams. Why can't (most) people see that their real happiness is right in front of them and well within their means?

Today's Ramble - 10/27/06

2006-10-27T15:29:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation last evening with someone I consider to be wise, thoughtful, and caring. We were discussing the struggles of public elementary education and the high cost of private elementary education. Someone suggested that the only way to afford private school is to finance it. This thoughtful, wise, and caring person said, "it would be crazy to take out a loan to pay for an elementary education". I stated in response, "if that's the case, it would be really crazy to take out a car loan." She said, "yeah, you're right." I am in no way smarter or wiser than she. I simply pointed out how this consumer-driven economy favors the purchase of things over the education of our children. It is now okay to take out a sizable loan to buy a car. But, it's not okay to finance a private education. Could it be because we are constantly being bombarded with advertisements for cars and we receive none for private schools? How did we let our values get so out of whack?

Today's Ramble - 10/26/06

2006-10-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

The concept of "downshifting" has been around for a couple of decades (at least). In light of "Take Back Your Time Day" (www.timeday.org), which occurred on 10/24/06, the idea of downshifting is buzzing (slightly) yet again. Therefore, I thought it would be interesting to search google. I was astonished to find the first entry was a link to edmunds.com that deals with "downshifting" in a car. That spoke volumes to me. Our society is more focused on material objects and how they work than a practice that could lead to significant improvement in the overall human condition. There is a tremendous amount of work to be done...

..."against the run of the mill / swimming against the stream / life in two dimensions / is a mass-production scheme".

Today's Ramble - 10/25/06

2006-10-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

Today, let's revisit the concept of "hedonic adaptation" (aka, the hedonic treadmill). The hedonic treadmill causes you to rapidly and inevitably adapt to good things by taking them for granted. As you accumulate more material possessions and accomplishments, your expectations rise. The deeds and things you worked so hard for no longer make you happy; you need to get something even better to boost your level of happiness into the upper reaches of its set range.

The good news is that, just as having the knowledge that television commercials are attempting to make you a materialistic bot allows you to avoid it, having an awareness of the impact of hedonic adaptation allows you to minimize its effects. Better yet, an awareness of it puts you in a better position to avoid wasting valuable resources (financial or otherwise) chasing after the gold ring that will not effectively increase your sense of well being.

Today's Ramble - 10/23/06

2006-10-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, that's enough about cars (for now). Give this one some consideration. NBC News reports that 70% of lottery winners exhaust their winnings within three years. How many of us dream about what we would do if we won the lottery? How many of us say to ourselves that we would not make stupid purchases, that we would save most of the money and use it for a good cause? Of course, we are different from those 70% of winners that blow it all in three years.

I love to use lotteries as examples to make points, because they are so insidious in so many ways. It is not necessarily the lotteries themselves that are so "evil". It is the way we drool at the mouth when we consider how free and happy we will be when we win. The evil part is that lotteries compel us to focus on the things that we think will make us feel happy, not what really will make us feel happy. They play on our sense of greed, and our fear of insecurity. Of course, for us it will be different when we win. We will put the money to good use. We will quit our tedious jobs and invest in our futures. We will support our needy friends and family members. We will be masters of our money. Will we really?

Today's Ramble - 10/17/06

2006-10-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today's ramble has to do with the concept of miswant (see my link to Daniel Gilbert's website for details). The concept of miswanting has to do with our proven inability to predict how we will feel after a given event. Things do not always feel the way we expect them to feel. Even worse, we are unable to predict (with any accuracy) how an event will affect us in the long run. Our general overall happiness is affected by a multitude of events. So, it is nearly impossible for us to predict what events are leading to our happiness at any given time. Granted, this concept is cynical. Regardless, much research confirms it.

My question to you is, "why would you spend $40,000 for a luxury car with the expectation that it will make you happy, knowing that your ability to predict whether or not you will be happy after you buy it is in doubt"? It is likely that the outcome of your purchase will be overcome by the multitude of events that happen to you in subsequent days. How will you ever know if the car is making you happy when your level of happiness is equally affected by other things that happen to you day after day? Is the cost worth it? Think about it.....

Today's Ramble - 10/16/06

2006-10-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

Fortunately for my own happiness, I do not watch much TV. This weekend, I did spend some time watching a football game. One of the program sponsors was Cadillac. I was blown away by the bravado of the luxury car company's new slogan - "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit". This is clearly a reference from our country's Declaration of Independence. As well, it implies that owning a Cadillac is part of the American dream. Whether it was intentional or not, this advertising slogan is dripping with irony. The "pursuit", in this case, is not specified by an affiliation with happiness. Instead, it is left hanging. The implication is that pursuit of the American dream includes owning a Cadillac. The irony is that it is the pursuit of happiness through material means that is fleeting. The more we possess, the more that we are dissatisfied with what we possess. Owning a Cadillac will make us happy for a short time. But, in fact (Hedonic Adaptation), it will not keep us happy. We will need to buy another Cadillac soon..and another...and another...and another. A brilliant ad campaign. But, one that is completely devoid of respect for the well being of humankind.

Today's Ramble - 10/14/06

2006-10-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

A year or so ago, I volunteered some time at the Oregon Food Bank. I took a tour of the wonderful facility, and learned from the program coordinator that a large number of the families that receive food from the food bank affiliates CHOOSE to go hungry. Yes, that's correct. They choose to pay their cable bills and car payments before buying food for their families. This point of fact dumbfounded me. How could we let our values get so far away from what used to be the obvious choice? When keeping up with the Jones' out-weighs the need to provide nutritious food to our brood, things are very very wrong. Can we afford to continue to support these kind of poor choices by doing nothing? As more and more families make these choices, our society as a whole suffers.

Today's Ramble - 10/13/06

2006-10-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

Today's thought centers around our most precious resource - time. As our society becomes more affluent, many of us find that we have more money than time. So, we hire nannies to care for our children. We hire gardeners to tend our gardens. We even hire personal shoppers to pick out and purchase gifts for our friends and family. This implies to me that money has become our master. As the old saying goes, "money makes a better slave than master" (or something like that). What could be more telling than these societal trends that our materialistic, consumer-driven society has become our collective master. It is time we stop this madness one individual at a time.

Today's Ramble - 10/12/06

2006-10-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

From the Hope Health newsletter, here are "10 principles for healthy living":

1) Breathe (deeply)
2) Drink (water)
3) Sleep (peacefully)
4) Eat (nutritionally)
5) Enjoy (activity)
6) Give (and receive love)
7) Be (forgiving)
8) Practice (gratitude)
9) Develop (acceptance)
10) Nurture (your spirit)

Today's ramble - 10/02/06

2006-10-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me over the weekend as I was attempting to lull my five week old baby to sleep that people are likely unhappy about raising children because of the level of stress it can create. It got me thinking that high stress = unhappiness, and low stress = happiness. Looking (briefly) at the research this appears to be true. Short and sweet. Reduce your level of stress and increase your level of happiness.

Taken one step further, self imposed stress (isn't it always) can destin people to unhappiness. This is particularly true given the principle of hedonic adaptation. The more we have, the more we need to feel happy. It may be stress associated with keeping up with the Jones' that is self-inflicted that brings us to a level of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Of course, this race cannot be won. The likely end result is unhappiness in life. Therapy focused on those caught in this downward spiral could have a tremendously positive impact on the population it is able to reach.

Today's Ramble...

2006-09-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

The last, and most difficult, materialism shackle for me to break myself from is the automobile. I am working VERY hard on it. What a challenge! As I was driving into work today, it occurred to me that driving the streets of America is really the way many of us socialize. It's like being at a cocktail party everyday. Only, we don't need to talk to each other. Our cars give others clues about who we are. Whether or not we are clean. How much money we have. Are we outdoorsy? Are we fast movers or do we take our time? Are we up on the latest fashions or don't we care? This whole thing occurred to me as utterly ridiculous. Really, there should be three or four distinct vehicles; one for commuting, one for families, two types for work. The fact that there are as many car models as there are personality types truly shows how intertwined our culture (and our self-image) is with our automobiles. Visualize what a year would be like if everyone's car just went away. How would we interact with one another? How would we get around? How would we demonstrate to others our status and image?

What does this have to do with happiness? Well, my friend, a lot! Happiness research from Harvard University shows that commuting makes us less happy than anything else. Our daily "cocktail party", on which we pay exhorbitant amounts of money (car payment, insurance, fuel, maintenance), is the least happy part of our daily existance. Why do we do it to ourselves? Inquiring minds want to know...

Thanks Bluebird!

2006-09-14T16:45:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank Bluebird (Hedonic Adjustment) for his contributions to the blogging world. He inspired me to start this blog. It is unfortunate that he lost his inspiration. Understanding real happiness is critical and vital work. May its force be with you, Bluebird!

Welcome to Real Happiness!

2006-09-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

My world turned from dark to light gradually as I informed myself, "money does not buy you happiness". Of course, for a long time, I didn't believe what I was telling myself. Over time, I learned to listen. I am here to share what I have learned, and continue to learn, with you. My "enlightment" has been astounding. Let's learn more. Let's share. Let's be happier. Let's be real.